Latasinha's Weblog

Social and political Values and Systems in India.

Harmonious relationship

“A great relationship is about two things, first find out similarities and second respect the differences”

Introduction – Quality of  relationships matters a lot. It not only protect their bodies but protects their brain as well.  Desire for name, fame or money does not make people happy.

For developing harmonious relationship, people will have to understand the value of togetherness. Togetherness keeps people well- connected to family, friends and to community. Warm relationships are protective, gives feeling of true happiness, satisfaction and develops a sense of security. Sharing of joys with near and dear ones doubles the happiness. Similarly sharing one’s worries or sorrows lessens the mental strain.

Human relationship is passing through a tough time in modern period. Reasons are many, like trend of nucleus family system, money-culture, impatience, fast and busy life-style of modern times and too artificial and mechanized way of living. Individuals are becoming more and more self-centered.

Adverse effect of modernity on relationships has been seen almost everywhere. There are many experts to advice, yet instead of reducing the problems, it is increasing day by day. Modernity has taught humans to make a living but not a life. People try to multiply their possessions but instead have reduced the human values.

Loneliness in modern world – Otherwise life becomes quite complex. Loneliness kills a person. He is either a god or a beast without his fellow-beings. Their mental and physical health, start to decline. Society also does not regard them as normal. It is an irony of modern times that people have lots of friends on electronic medium/social media/facebook/wordsap etc, but there is no one to rely on. It causes stress anxiety and depression. Most of people are lonely at heart today.

People are emotionally suffocated – Over and above all this, ego and trend of not trusting others or fear of being rejected compel him to hold back his emotions. It is difficult to realize how lonely and emotionally suffocated humans are these days, be it a child, a youth or an elderly person.

The net result is that everyone, be it a child, a youth or an old person, everyone feels lonely. Heart to heart conversations have become rare, artificial and shallow. Young people mostly suffer from anxiety and frustration. Senior citizens, at the fag end of their life, suffer from loneliness the most. They have virtually no connection with younger generation. Even children are deprived of the pleasures of childhood because of heavy curriculum and high expectations of parents. People of all age-groups have bottled up stress and then suffers from anxiety or depression. Life becomes a constant struggle for youth and hell old people. Increasing cases of depression all over the world is the proof.

To keep up his social image of a confident and happy-man, usually people behave artificially. It hardly lessens stress, anxiety or depression.

Hurdles on the way of smooth relationship – Main hurdles on the way of smooth relationships are false ego, fear, unfulfilled expectations, rat-race giving rise to prejudices, anger and revenge. Besides –

·    No time or patience – In this fast-paced life of today, nobody has time or patience to listen to others.  ‘Get to the point’ is the base of communicating with others. Such an attitude takes toll on relationship.Life is so busy and fast these days that nobody has time for listening others’ emotions, which is considered as waste of time. People save their time only for self-interests self-image, self-promotion. It makes most of people self-serving.

·      Social isolation – People have become unsocial. Communication Through digital medium people can communicate with others, but at heart, they feel lonely. They have become slave of technology they have mastered. There is no feeling of belonging to society, or acceptance for others.   

.   Phony relationships – In the cards game of Bridge, there is a phony call of one club indicating that the player has a strong set of cards, but no depth in any suit. Similarly, face to face interaction has been replaced by new modes of digital and online communication. There are quick, easier and more contacts through networking at very little or no cost, but there is very little connection.
·      Faceless interaction – Speedy means of communication through electronic medium is an illusion, which leads them to the world of confusion. The moment people open their computers or mobile, they ignore the presence of people around them.

Faceless interaction has made people insensitive. Every-day people talk to hundreds of people every day, yet they do not really know the person they are talking to. Face-to face interaction enables people to know the reactions, thoughts and feelings of others. It becomes easier by witnessing
the body-language, expressions on the face, while talking. It connects a person with others and can make a difference in life. People can develop a sense of belonging to the society, companionship and can learn to co-exist.

·      Smart phones and dump people – Interaction through Smart phones has made people quite insensitive. In this fast-paced life, nobody has time or patience to listen.  ‘Get to the  point’ is the base of communicating with others.

·       Understanding about each other, missing – Every-day a humans talk to hundreds of people, yet hardly they know the person they are talking to. 

How to develop Harmonious relationships – The foundation pillars for making a relationship flourish are love, understanding, trust, confidence, faith, sincerity and similar interests. Compassion and empathy are two essential traits to bring up a smooth relationship. It basically depends on –

  • Find out similarities and respect the differences. “Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I.” (Budha) When people interact with like-minded people, who have the same goals or thinking. 
  • Relationship is reciprocal. It works on the principle of ‘give and take’. Same is true to develop relationship between an Individual and a society.
  • Accept others as they are. When there is inclusive bent of mind, likes and dislikes do not matter. Only, it is required that agree or disagree respectfully after having constructive dialogue.  
  • Communication is the lifeline of any relationship. When one stops communicating… one starts loosing his/her valuable relationship.
  • Lack of proper communication affects adversely relationship. Gaps are created, when there is a lack of communication or communication is not clear.
  • Communication should be adequate, timely, uniform, acceptable and consistent with the expectations of the recipient.
  • Not only, that what is communicated, matters, but when it is communicated and how it is communicated also matters a lot. What is ‘communicated’ reaches to mind. How it is said reaches to heart.
  • Be honest and natural, no artificial gesture to show closeness.
  • Respect the traditional way of living. It is like an anchor, which keeps one’s boat even in the stormy water of an ocean. Do not discard or reject it  out-rightly.
  • Besides try to trust others, keep good communication to develop healthy relationships, have patience to listen what others want to say. Do not reject their point of view out-rightly.
  • Gaps are created, not by what is said, but by how it is said. What is said reaches to mind and how it is said reaches to heart.
  • Life provides opportunities to convert them into developing harmonious relationships. Only one has to move forward, cross the road and shake hands with the near and dear ones.  

Happiness depends on balanced and harmonious relationship and harmonious relationship depends on coordination. And coordination depends on adequate communication with fellow-beings. All the problems and unhappiness, be it environmental, social, economic, political or health-related, arise out of disharmony, imbalances and lack of coordination.

Conclusion – People are dreaming to reach up to the moon and back, but find no time to take even one step crossing the road to meet and chat freely with their neighbor or relatives. Lack of enough communication has made people insensitive, impatient and self-centered. People are missing the chances of little pleasures in life.

To save humans from depression or overjoy or emotional loneliness, harmonious relationship and free-frank-honest/heart to heart communication with near and dear ones is necessary. Rhythm with others can be achieved by cool and heart to heart conversation. Sharing of joys with near and dear ones doubles the happiness. Similarly sharing one’s worries or sorrows lessens the mental strain.

July 16, 2020 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. Beautiful article Aunty. so true and well written. its so close to our lives.can I take some material for my patients Aunty.Regards Pinky

     

     

      

     

     

     

    Comment by ramasparentingtips | July 16, 2020 | Reply


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